1. Your idea of a major traffic jam is four cars in a row.

2. "Vacation" means going to Dark Harbour, Miller's Pond or Eel Lake.

3. The last concert you saw was at the Kwik-Way.

4. You measure distance in minutes.

5. You know several people who have run over muskrats more than once.

6. You have seen a whale go down the road on a flatbed truck.

7. You use a down comforter in summer.

8. You plan your financial future around bingo.

9. The local undertaker has tried to sell you a fridge.

10. You see people wearing fishing clothes at social events.

11. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

12. You think of the four major food groups as deer meat, beer, fish and hot dogs.

13. You think everyone from away has an accent.

14. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.

15. You know all four seasons: Almost Lobster, Lobster, Tourist and Scallop.

16. You take two hours to go to Home Hardware for one item even when you're in a rush, because you have to stop and talk to everyone you know.

17. You know all the island store keepers by their first names.

18. At least one tree in your yard came down in a mighty wind.

19. Your hydro goes out at least four times a year.

20. Either you or your neighbour went buggying last weekend.

21. You eat fish and chips at least once a week.

22. You go to the store for milk, bread and eggs, and they are out of all three.

23. Your freezer is filled with salt-fish, berries and venison.

24. You receive your bills the day after they are due.

25. You eat dulse and like it.

26. You know what it means to go "wrinkling".

27. Gummies are a mandatory part of your wardrobe.

28. You smile and wave from your car at everyone you meet on the road, even after dark.

29. You are related to half the people at any given public meeting.

30. You think a trip to Deep Cove has to have a very good reason, because it is so very far away.

31.You think a trip to North Head has to have a very good reason, because it is so very far away.

32. You automatically listen for the plane five minutes after the ambulance heads back up the island.

33. Nearly half your pickup truck is made of wood.

34. Your dog has stolen salt-fish off somebody's clothesline.

35. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends on Grand Manan.

Mouse Squashed By Elephant

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