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Come all ye maidens of courage brave and true,
I'll tell you how to happy live and avoid all trouble, too;
But if you live a single life plain ye may understand,
Don't ye ever fall in love with a good lookin' man.
When I was sixteen years of age, a damsel in my prime,
I daily thought a wedded life was happy all the time;
I daily thought a wedded life would be my only plan,
I sobbed, I sighed, both day and night to get a nice young man.
My wishes came, too soon I got one Sunday afternoon,
As home from church I gaily walked I met a fair gossoon;
He looked so fine about the face to win him I made a plan,
That very day I set a trap for my good lookin' man.
Again by chance as out I walked to take a pleasant roam,
I met this handsome gentleman who wished to see me home;
I feign said, "No," but it was no use, to go with me was his plan,
And to my house I walked along with my good lookin' man.
He said to me as on we walked, "My dear and only love,
If with me you consent to wed I'll never unconstant prove;
Sure, I would be a husband kind and do the best I can."
My heart, my hand, I then did give with my good lookin' man.
That night was fixed for us to wed so happy I could cheer,
He gently pressed me to his breast, saying, "Oh my Mary dear."
He gently pressed me to his breast to the parson's house we ran,
And there I tied the dreadful knot with my good lookin' man.
We were scarce one week married one Sunday afternoon,
The day was gone, the night came on, out went my honeymoon;
My gent walked out, and so did I, to watch him was my plan,
And soon a flashing girl I saw with my good lookin' man.
The clock was striking ten when my gentleman walked in,
I gently said, "My Willie, dear, where so long have you been?"
"I've been to church, my dear," he said, and that I could not stand,
The rolling pin I then let fly at my good lookin' man!
I blacked his eyes, I tore his hair, in ribbons I tore his clothes,
I then took up the poker and laid it across his nose;
He looked just like a chimney sweep as out the door he ran,
And never a lady loved again with my good lookin' man.
Ye married folks, take my advice in high and low degree,
And if a husband you do get, pitch in to him like me;
When I found out I was deceived it was my only plan,
To spoil the handsome figure of my good lookin' man.