Life Lessons Learned From A Dog

  • 1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.

  • 2. Don't go out without ID.

  • 3. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.

  • 4. Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.

  • 5. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.

  • 6. Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is effective.

  • 7. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).

  • 8. If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss