Life is hard, then you nap.

Curiousity never killed anything, except maybe a few hours.

When in doubt, cop an attitude.

Variety is the spice of life: one day ignore people, the next day annoy them.

Climb your way to the top- thats why the drapes are there.

Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face.

Find your place in the sun- especially if it happens to be on that nice pile of warm, clean laundry.

Make your mark in the world- or at least spray in each corner.

When eating out, think nothing of sending back your meal twenty or thirty times.

If you're not receiving enough attention, try knocking over a few expensive antique lamps.

Always give generously- a small bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I Care."

When you go out into the world, remember: being placed on a pedestal is a right, not a privilege.