~GREAT QUOTES~

Only dead fish swim with the current.

Never scald your tongue on another man's soup.

Integrity is not a conditional word.

Wisdom is not vicarious.

The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

Every man has a scheme that will not work.

Never negotiate with anyone who has less authority than you.

Celebacy is not hereditary.

A clear conscience never fixed anything.

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

  Only the dead get a full pardon.

A compliment is sometimes better than the truth.

A bore is a person who deprives you of solitude without providing you company.

Those who do not understand their mistakes are condemned to repeat them.

Behold the turtle who makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

An alcoholic is somebody you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

Happiness is a highway, not a destination.

He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.

Silence is the perfect expression of scorn.

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

People who have no vices have very few virtues.

Even an honest man gets tempted when faced with an idiot.

Pain hurts.

The secret of growing old is having lots of experience you can no longer use.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Silence is the best reply to the ignorant.

The real enjoyment of fine wine is in knowing when you have had enough.

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

An optimist is a person who never had much experience.

Though the mills of the gods grind slowly, they grind exceedingly fine.

The harder you work, the luckier you get.

Logic is any line of reasoning that proves you are right.

It is better to be approximately right than precisely wrong.

The trouble with lawyer jokes is lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

Life is like pedaling a bicycle; you won't fall off unless you stop pedaling.

Indolence is the mother of poverty.

Yield to temptation----it may not pass your way again.

Justice is when the decision is in your favor.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.

Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

  The key to failure is trying to please everybody.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

If you want a place in the sun, you've got to expect a few blisters.

Old age comes at a bad time.

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

You can't fool all the people all the time, you need only a majority.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I see I should have been more specific.

I have no time for patience.

Life is a banquet, and most poor fools are starving to death.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.

Mistakes are the price we pay for living a full life.

A clear conscience is often the sign of a bad memory.

I may have my faults, but being wrong is not one of them.

TVs need a knob to turn up the intelligence; the one marked brightness doesn't work.

Love is like a mushroom. You never know if it's the real thing until it's too late.

Don't mistake personality for character.

I've learned that it's easier to stay out of trouble than to get out of trouble.

Compromise is the art of dividing a cake so that everybody believes that he or she got the biggest piece.

Gambling is a method of getting nothing out of something.

It is harder to conceal ignorance than to acquire knowledge.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Most men hope their lean years are behind them; women hope theirs are ahead.

Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.

A sure sign of bureaucracy is when the first three people who answer the phone can't help you.

Morality, like art, consists of drawing the line somewhere.

Swallowing angry words is much easier than having to eat them.

Beware of the man who knows the answer before he understands the question.

It is those who have tried it most frequently who are convinced that marriage is a failure.

Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Middle age is when you have a choice of two temptations and choose the one that will get you home earlier.

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

If you get caught with your pants down, pull'em up, and lie about it.